Notebook Number Nine - Blog Tour
When all the lies and hypocrisy of the world become too much to ignore; when you see it all so clearly that you can’t erase the image from your mind, what do you do?
When the thin veil of conformity drops from Bekki’s eyes she doesn’t know what to do either, so she sits down and writes a letter. Alice replies. But who is Alice? And is it even possible for ‘normal’ people to undertake a true journey of self-improvement without running away to a monastery up a mountain?
Bekki is going to find out.
This isn't a brand-new release, so it was interesting to pick up a book that has been around for a little while and discover it for myself. Sometimes those are the books that surprise you most, especially when you come to them without the noise that often surrounds a new release.
Trigger warning: the book contains a sensitive depiction of death.
At the heart of the story is Bekki and her search to understand both the world around her and her own place within it. Her journey stretches from 2000 through to 2024, giving us the opportunity to watch her change, question herself and reassess what she actually wants from life over a considerable period of time.
Bekki is searching for something that many of us can probably relate to: a sense of purpose and some understanding of what it all means. She doesn't simply sit back and accept the life she has been given. Instead, she starts questioning the choices she has made, the expectations placed upon her and whether the path she is following is genuinely the one she wants.
I particularly liked the idea of the notebooks running throughout her journey. They become a record of Bekki's thoughts, experiences and attempts to make sense of herself, while also highlighting just how much can change over the course of several years. We don't always recognise how different we have become until we look back at an older version of ourselves, and I thought the book captured that idea really well.
One of the biggest themes for me was that meaningful change rarely happens in one dramatic moment. Bekki makes some significant decisions and takes some drastic steps, but the story also demonstrates that real, lasting transformation is often much slower and more complicated. Small choices made repeatedly can eventually lead us somewhere completely different. It is a reminder that we don't necessarily have to reinvent our entire lives overnight; sometimes it is the accumulation of little changes that makes the biggest difference.
The book also asks some interesting questions about what it actually means to do the "right" thing. There isn't always an obvious answer, and what feels right to one person may look completely different to someone else. Bekki is forced to navigate these grey areas while trying to work out what aligns with her own values rather than simply doing what is expected of her.
Along the way, she encounters a variety of people who have an impact on her life. Some become important for longer than others, but each encounter contributes something to her journey. I enjoyed seeing how these relationships influenced Bekki's thinking and helped her develop a clearer understanding of herself. Sometimes it takes another person to challenge the way we see things, even if we don't necessarily appreciate that challenge at the time.
We are also given plenty of access to Bekki's internal thoughts and observations. She reflects on everything from politics to society and the way she interprets the world around her. Her inner monologue gives the novel a very personal quality and allows us to see not only what happens to her, but how she processes those experiences. There were moments where I found myself considering my own views and questioning some of the assumptions we all carry about the world.
What I think the author does particularly well is explore the tension between the life society expects us to live and the life we might actually want for ourselves. There can be a certain comfort in conformity because it gives us a sense of security and tells us what we are "supposed" to be doing. But what happens when that version of life no longer feels authentic? What happens when the things we once accepted without question suddenly don't make sense anymore?
That is where Bekki's journey becomes particularly compelling. Her search isn't always straightforward, and she doesn't necessarily have all the answers, but that is what makes her feel relatable. Self-discovery isn't usually a neat process where everything suddenly becomes clear. It involves doubt, mistakes, uncomfortable realisations and sometimes completely changing direction.
I also appreciated that the novel doesn't pretend that finding yourself means finding a perfect version of your life. Instead, it seems more interested in the process of becoming comfortable with who you are and being willing to question the things that no longer fit. There is a strong sense of encouraging the reader to look beyond what is expected and consider what actually matters to them.
Overall, I found this to be a thought-provoking exploration of identity, change, society and the complicated process of figuring out what we want from our lives. Bekki's journey spans more than two decades, and that gives the story plenty of room to explore how our beliefs, priorities and understanding of ourselves can evolve with time.
I think this book will particularly resonate with anyone who has ever looked at the world around them and wondered whether there is more to life than simply following the path laid out in front of them. It encourages us to question, reflect and, perhaps most importantly, to be honest with ourselves about what we really want.
A reflective and sometimes challenging read about growing, changing and having the courage to step away from expectations in order to discover who you really are.
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